Lest we forget
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to the special Anzac Day Edition of the Silly Newsletter. ANZAC Day is an extra special day this year as our return service men and women are not able to have their usual reunion and the close support of the wider community of loved ones.
Can I suggest that we all take the time to call our loved ones (return service men and women, or not) and ensure that they are OK.
They shall grow not old,
as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them,
nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun
and in the morning
We will remember them.
THE ODE AND THE LAST POST
Please click on the following link to hear the Ode and the Last Post:Maybe stand in your driveways at dawn on ANZAC Day for two minutes silence. A candle is optional.
YOU'RE NOT AUSTRALIAN UNTIL
- You've done the “hot sand” dance at the beach while running from the ocean back to your towel.
- You stop greeting people with “hello” and go straight to the “how ya doin”.
- You’ve squeezed vegemite through Saladas to make little vegemite worms.
- You suck your coffee through a Tim Tam.
- You pronounce Australia as “Ashtraya”.
- You use the phrase “no worries” at least once a day.
- You don't know what's in a meat pie and you don't care.
- You own a pair of Ugg boots.
- You've played beach cricket with a tennis ball.
- You constantly shorten words to “Brekkie”, “arvo” and “Barbie”.
- You firmly believe that in the end everything will be OK and have told a mate in tough times that “She'll be right mate.”
FOOT TAPPING
If the following video does not get you tapping your foot, you have issues.
He is 94 and she is 91.
EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 60
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface well you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2 kg potato bag in each hand extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks move up to 5 kg potato bags then try 20 kg potato bags and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 50 kg potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
After you feel confident at that level put a potato in each bag.
LIMERICK
There was a young lady from Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside
And a smile on the face of the tiger.
THE CORONA POEM
This virus its name is Corona
could never be known as a loner
its desperate to share
as it flies through the air
with its super contagious persona.
The following two items are courtesy of the late Leo Wright.
MY HERO
His faults are many, his virtues few,
Brave deeds he may not boast,
Yet of all the men I ever knew,
I love that man the most!
When he’s ranting and he’s raving,
I cannot disagree,
When he’s in the mirror shaving,
I know he’s right, he’s me!
THE FIRST PALENDROME
This has to be the very first palindrome because it was Adam’s introduction to Eve!
MADAM, I’M ADAM!They say that they, have been known to say,
That they, they say, say more than they,
Who say that they say all, and may I say,
Who the hell are they?
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PERKS OF REACHING 50, OR BEING OVER 60, AND HEADING TOWARDS 70 OR BEYOND!
1. Kidnappers are not very Interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, You are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- Anywhere
4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5. People no longer view you as a Hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left To learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now Won't wear out.
8. You can eat Supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex, But not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments About pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits As a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold Your stomach in no matter who walks Into the room.
13. You sing along With elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get Much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance Is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists Than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends Because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to A manageable size.
19. You can't remember Who sent you this list.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING - Never, NEVER, NEVER , Under any circumstances, Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on The same night!
"Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
SENIORS' MEDICAL ADVICE
I don't understand why prescription medicine is allowed to advertise on TV or why anyone would think of trying one of the medicines after listening to the laundry list of warnings of possible side effects. But this is definitely an exception!
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you wish you were a better conversationalist? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? Do you sometimes feel stressed?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident.
• It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
• You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you'll overcome obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want.
• Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past. You will discover talents you never knew you had.
• Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it, but women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
• Side Effects May Include: Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
Warnings:
• The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
• The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
• The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
• The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
• Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio, Scotch, Vodka or Bourbon and of course Beer may be substituted for Cabernet Sauvignon, with similar results.
Please feel free to share this important information.
LIFE IS A CABERNET OLD CHUM.
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UNUSED CARS MAY RUN DOWN --------------------------
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Victorians staying at home to help fight the spread of COVID-19 have been warned not to neglect their cars for months on end.
The Victorian Automotive Chamber of Commerce chief executive Geoff Gwilyn warned that if idle for weeks or months, a build-up of moisture could damage electrical systems and put extra strain on brakes when a car was eventually driven. “Cars were never made to be parked.” Mr Gwilyn said “If you have two cars rotate them.”
Moisture trapped on car brakes could result in oxidation or “road dust”. Even a drive around the block would burn off moisture and lubricate key components such as rubber and oil seals. “Your car will do that for you If you take it for a drive,” Mr Gwilyn said.
He downplayed the risks of fuel evaporating or depleting and damaging car engines. “The last thing we want is anyone pumping out cars because they think it will be gummed up.” Mr Gwilyn said.
As long as social distancing protocols were followed, cars could be serviced.
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PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener. 😊
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle. 😊
*** End of Issue No 14 ***
