We are living through history. How will you remember it? How will your children
and grandchildren remember it? In 1665, during the plague pandemic, Isaac Newton was stuck as home. During this time, he developed the theory of gravity.
The best things come from having the time and the space to think and be creative. In years to come, our children and grand-children will study the time of COVID-19.
•They will hear how people came together to cheer and clap the amazing people who save lives and kept our country going.
•They will hear of a time where the world slowed down, polluted skies cleared, and animals reclaimed the streets.
•A time when we treasured our one walk each day.
•A time when families spent time together playing and having fun.
•Where people came together to help those in need.
•When seeing our friends and family meant seeing their faces on a screen.
•When school went online and parents became teachers.
•Stay at home – it was never so easy to save lives.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called “the present”.
YOU ARE PART OF HISTORY.
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Beautiful words from a lady called “Miss Witham”. Far too good to not distribute.
Please read it twice. Editor Chris.
You can watch a video with music of the above story. Please click on the link below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp5r8tvQbAQ
SOME JOKES
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
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My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70!!! Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
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Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador ."Blow that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
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My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
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When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkers saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!
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Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six people in their back in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
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Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
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A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."
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Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talkin into an envelope for?" "I'm sending a voicemail ya thick sod!"
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Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
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19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."
DIAMOND VALLEY RAILWAY
A very popular local attraction is the Diamond Valley Railway, at Lower Eltham Park. They have been there for well over 50 years.
Once the COVID-19 situation is behind us they will welcome your support in two ways:
1. Patronage on the trains.
2. As a volunteer to maintain and man the facility.
Maybe check out their website: www.dvr.com.au
ANOTHER IRISH JOKE
Meanwhile, somewhere in Ireland.....
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy ?" she asks anxiously.
"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an E-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home.... and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"
"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
"Paddy. I told you there must be a simple explanation .....she never got your E-mail!"
ON THE BEACH
A widowed lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach.
She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book.
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "How are you today?”
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied, and turned back to his book.
"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. ”Do you live around here?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered, and again he resumed reading.
Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?"
With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate love making of her life.
When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man replied, "I just guessed - but how did you know my name was Katz?"
SMART ADVICE
Teachers Urge Government To Reopen Schools Before Students Learn To Think For Themselves.
The most effective way of “social distancing” is to wear a Collingwood jumper every time you go out.
PLEASE REMEMBER - That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener. Please stay well and as happy as can be.
The bear is after a cuddle
Please:
*** End of Issue No 11 ***
Thanks again Chris
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