C19 "Silly" Newsletter: Issue No 10

Serious Isolators Last Longer Ya

EDITORIAL

I am pretty disappointed with the disregard that many people have for the messages that our leaders are trying to impart. Many of our friends are putting (their) priorities in front of what we are being asked to do.

We are missing our grand-children and apparently they are missing us. However, Shirley and I are trying to do our bit, while other people believe that they know better.

It is very hard for us all. We managed with young children, so our children should be able to manage with young children – at a time when we are being asked to isolate and stay away. So, lets isolate and stay away.

We have a single neighbour who has been isolating for three weeks. Shirley and I have been doing so for over two weeks. Morally we should be able to get together for a coffee. But we are being asked not to – so we don’t.

As a community let’s try a bit harder.

Anyway, I have made my first online order from Bunnings. So now we have supermarket, green grocer, pharmacy and Bunnings under control.

I was also able to get a photo at 1:20 am Thursday of the second super moon for the year, through a big gum tree in our back yard.

Shirley and I hope you have a great Easter, although it will surely be different to passed years.

Chris

ONLINE ANZAC BISCUITS

It has been a Kelly tradition for a long time that I cook Anzac biscuits around this time of the year – for obvious reasons.

The idea started with my children, and then moved to me being helped by grandchildren.

Ironically, I supply the skills, the ingredients and the cooking power – but the kids always seem to get ownership of the end product. However, Shirley and I seem to always get some sort of meagre allocation. 😊

This year we are isolated from our two great grandsons two lovely grand-daughters, so I organised a ZOOM cooking session.

I was at home with the PC on the bench, the boys were in their home, and the girls were in their home (fully supported by their Mum).

We all had a great time, and we were all more than satisfied with the result. Shirley and I got to keep our allocation. 😊

ANZAC Work-bench with Computer

End Product - ANZAC Biscuits

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

------------------
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
------------------
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

------------------
Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
------------------
PAS: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
------------------
Home-schooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
------------------
I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
------------------
This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
------------------
So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
------------------
Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
------------------
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
------------------
Day 5 of Home-schooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
------------------
I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
------------------
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
------------------
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
------------------
Day 6 of Home-schooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

FROM FORM 1 POETRY BOOK LT

There was a young lady of Ryde;
Of eating green apples she died.

Inside the lamented
The apples fermented
And made cider inside her inside.
------------------
There was a young man of Bengal
Who went to a fancy dress ball.
He went just for fun,
Dressed up as a bun,
And a dog ate him up in the hall.
------------------
There was a sculptor of mark
Whom they chose to brighten Hyde Park.
Some thought his design
Most markedly fine-
But more liked it best in the dark.

MAROONED

Two blokes were marooned on a deserted island in the middle of the broad seas. One, Bill, was a Gentile and Hymie was a Jew. After a short time Bill was starting to become quite desperate, fearing they would never see anyone else ever again. So, every day he started gathering firewood and lighting fires in the hope that a passing ship or anyone might see them or the smoke. Also he spent hours scratching large messages in the sand on the beaches in the hope that maybe a passing plane might spot them.

All through these efforts, Hymie simply lay back enjoying the sun and the surf and the coconuts he would find lying around. After a short time this all got to Bill, who, in anger, accused of Hymie of letting him do all the work and doing nothing to help.

In response, Hymie said, “Bill, last year I gave a million dollars to the synagogue and the year before that I also gave the synagogue a million dollars. They will find me.”

WOOD GATHERERS LM

And it came to pass that this brave was elected by all the Indian tribes in all of North America to be the Supreme Leader because of his outstanding knowledge of all things.

He decided to address all of the people to find out what was troubling them the most – so he gathered the tribes together and said he would answer any question that they would ask.

The first question was: “Oh wise one will the coming winter be a cold winter?”

He thought about this for a while and replied that he would answer the next morning - he went straight back to his tepee and phoned the weather bureau who confirmed that it could be a cold winter.

Everyone was assembled the next morning and Supreme Leader said “Yes it will be a cold winter”.

A voice cried out “but wise one will it be a very cold winter?” - he said I will tell you in the morning. He went straight back to his tepee, phoned the weather bureau and they told him it would be a very cold winter.

At the assembly the next morning he passed on this news but a voice said “but oh wise one what will we do ?”

He replied “go out and fetch more firewood”. Again, another voice said “but oh wise one will it be a very very cold winter?” and he said again I will tell you in the morning.

The weather bureau again confirmed that it would be a very very cold winter.

He told the tribes this the next morning and a voice again was heard “but of wise one what will we do?” and he again replied “go out and bring in as much firewood as you can because it will be a very very cold winter” and they obeyed him immediately.

When he got back to his tepee he suddenly had doubts as to whether the weather bureau actually knew for sure what they were talking about - so he again phoned the weather bureau and asked them if they were definite that it was going to be a very very cold winter, and how did they actually ascertain this.

The informed reply was:

“Satellite surveillance show us that every tribe in the land is out gathering as much firewood as they can”.

PLEASE REMEMBER

That laughter is the best medicine.

If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener. 😊

Please stay well and as happy as can be.
The bear is after a cuddle. 😊