Monday, 22 February 2021

Issue No 64 - Wednesday 3 March

INTRO

The Silly still goes on. There are a couple of future issues already in draft form. However, while I am still in Melbourne and enjoying the work there is hope of a few more issues.

AUSSIE MUSIC

Fanny Lumsden is an up-and-coming Aussie country music artist. She won a stack of Golden Guitars at the recent (COVID) Tamworth festival. I hope you like what you hear.

These Days:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky8kXSvqYI

Real Men Don’t Cry:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-a7NrwChdB8

Roll On:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPhMXDsD2jA

Fallow (title track to her recent album):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX7Q6Vv7Kco

I have a copy of her latest album, courtesy of a great friend who believes that I deserved a copy. 😊

 


BOOGIE WOOGIE FESTIVAL - PROGRAM 1

If you liked the boogie woogie video I included a short while ago you should like this. There are more programs is this series if you feel like some more such music. There is some brass, some percussion and some vocals in this video.  Enjoy……………

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_WWNrIJtso


CATHY’S CLOWN

The following video is for fans of the Everly Brothers.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p_fkzaAEbQg&feature=youtu.be




NOSTALGIA – Part 3

Kodak K-24 camera, used for aerial photography during WW2 by the Americans.

 


DAD JOKES – Part 1

1.         I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!

2.         I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.

3.         You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

4.         What's brown and sticky? A stick.

5.         Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent.

6.         What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

7.         What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

8.         I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!

9.         Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

10.     If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

11.     I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.

12.     It takes guts to be an organ donor.

13.     If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?

14.     I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!

15.     I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

16.     It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.

17.     Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.

18.     Can February March? No, but April May!

19.     How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!



 



 

DAD JOKES – Part 2

20.     Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable.

21.     What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.

22.     Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.

23.     I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.

24.     Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

25.     When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

26.     I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

27.     What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.

28.     I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks!

29.     Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.

30.     Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.

31.     What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

32.     Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.

33.     What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.

34.     What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam.

35.     Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.

 


 


How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in RETIREMENT...

1.              At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!

2.              Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

3.              With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

4.              Sing along at The Opera.

5.              When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

6.              When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

7.              Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....'

8.              Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favourite... 

9.              Go to a large Department store's fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, "There's no paper in here!"





CHILDREN MAKE YOU LAUGH

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

---------------------------------

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

---------------------------------

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted, Cause your feet ain't empty.'

---------------------------------

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples....'






 


FOOD FOR THOUGHT – PART 2

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard Baruch

“Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.” – Bertrand Russell

“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” – Bertrand Russell

“Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.” – Betty White

“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.” – Bill Maher

“If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.” – Bill Vaughan

“Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.” – Bill Vaughan

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” – Billy Connolly

“I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.” – Billy Connolly

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” – Billy Sunday

“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” – Billy Wilder

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope

“Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.” – Bob Thaves

“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.” – Bryan White

 


ARETHA FRANKLIN - RESPECT

For those of you who are too young to get the above meme please watch the following Aretha Franklin video. Then read the meme again…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

 


 

AMAZING!  "NIGHT WATCH" BY REMBRANDT, BROUGHT TO LIFE.

The Rijksmuseum museum in Holland had an idea: Let's bring the art to the people and then, hopefully, they will come to see more - at the museum.

They took a Rembrandt painting from 1642, "Night Watch" and brought to life the characters in it, placed them in a busy mall, and the rest you can see for yourself.

BEFORE YOU CLICK on the link below.....take a good look at the painting below. Then click to enjoy the video.


http://www.youtube.com/embed/a6W2ZMpsxhg?feature=player_embedded

 





Buddy Hackett's Duck Joke
on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson

This should give you a smile…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aww4HT5g7ig



 

 


 


PLEASE REMEMBER

That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener. 😊

Please stay well and as happy as can be.

The bear is after a cuddle..................



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*** End of Issue No 64  ***

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