Silly moves on in to issue No 63 – 329 days after
the first issue. We have all sorts of stuff in this issue – classical music,
lots of humour, a couple of great videos, some nostalgia, a poem, a heart-warming
motivational (Australian) story and (of course) Dad’s Jokes. Some silly, some
not. Enjoy!
1812 Overture - Royal Albert Hall
(London)
I was fortunate to go to the Royal Albert Hall
in London in the mid 1970’s and hear Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture (twice) – my
all time favourite piece of classical music.
It was ticked off my bucket list before bucket
lists were invented.
Two versions follow………………….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUmu-dmF4us
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KzF1KgaREo
THE LONE RANGER
The Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, under the
baton of Edo de Waart, performs the thrilling finale to Rossini's William Tell
Overture.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIbYCOiETx0
14 WOLVES
14 wolves were released into
Yellowstone in 1995 and what happens next is astonishing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSzQ9w5TCqc
BIRDS CAN
DANCE
These
are both very clever. Please turn the sound up loud and check out the credits
at the end….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzKsfhalAPo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMXD4h5w8D8
One wheel
motorcycle, Germany, 1925.
“New
Year” Food for Thought?
·
What
is a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
·
What is corn’s favourite holiday? New
Ears Eve.
·
What's
a cows favourite holiday? Moo Year's Eve
·
They
say New York City has the best New Year's celebration, but I say it's
overrated. Every year they drop the ball.
·
Some
astronauts wanted to have a New Year's party on the moon, but they didn't
planet in time.
·
What
do farmers grow on January 1? New Year's Hay.
· What's the luckiest band to listen to on New Year's Day? Black-Eyed Peas.
·
Why
do you need a jeweller on December 31? To ring in the New Year.
·
What
does the little Champagne bottle call his father? Pop!
·
I
thought I got lost on New Year's Eve, but then I found the Auld Lang sign.
·
My
New Year's resolution was to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.
I'm going to stay up late this New Year's Eve—not to ring in the New Year, but
to make sure this one leaves.
·
My
New Year's resolution is to procrastinate. I'll start tomorrow.
·
"Youth
is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when
you’re forced to." Bill Vaughan
·
I
was going to give up all of my bad habits for the new year, but then I
remembered that no one likes a quitter.
·
Not
to brag, but I already have a date for New Year's Eve—it's December 31.
·
At
the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to lose 15 pounds. Only 20 more
to go!
·
I'm
not buying a 2021 calendar until I see the trailer.
·
We
can't let this year end: That would be admitting that 2021.
I brought a van the other day,
to do the big lap as they say,
People ask me where I'm going,
I just point the finger and say that way,
down the road to the great unknown.
As I drive along in the fading light
I'm looking for somewhere to spend the night,
the internet said there was a camp around here,
and as I drove along as the sun went down
that camp was nowhere to be found
so I turned of down an old dirt track
to get off the highway.
I drove that track for about half a K
looking for somewhere I could stay
I drove a little further and to my surprise,
I see lights, but not in the sky,
as I got closer I could see
the shapes of caravans, motorhomes
all parked together.
As I drove on in, a voice I did hear
how you going mate?
you are lucky you know,
if you’re looking for a spot there's one over there,
so park up and grab a chair
and come over to the camp fire and have a beer.
I realised just then,
to do the big lap - as they say
was going to take more than just a few days.
As I was preparing to leave
I remembered some good advice,
take it easy and enjoy the site's
and don't travel to far
before making camp for the night,
and remember,
the only thing you should take are memories
and leave behind are foot prints on the ground.
For those of you who love the great outdoors in Oz, and don’t
need a formal camp site to rest your weary bones………..
THE DOCTOR & THE VET
A Veterinarian was feeling
ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions,
about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when the vet
interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients
these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She
smugly added, "Why can't you?"
The doctor nodded, stood
back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to
her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have
to put you down."
THE CHARLES SCHULZ
PHILOSOPHY
The
following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts'
comic strip.
You
don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them. Read the
following straight through, and you'll get the point.
1. Name
the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name
the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name
the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name
ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name
the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name
the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The
point is that none/few of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no
second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields.
But
the applause dies. Awards tarnish ...
Achievements
are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here
is another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List
a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name
three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name
five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think
of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think
of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Easier?
The
lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
most credentials, the most money ... or the most awards. They simply are the
ones who care the most. Pass this on to those people whom you keep close in
your heart.
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's
already tomorrow in Australia!"
“Be Yourself”.
LEIGH WOODGATE
The following video is an episode from the
ABC-TV show, Australian Story. It is an inspirational story from horse
lover, Leigh Woodgate.
If you have had problems in your life, this
is for you, to show how a young Aussie woman coped with extraordinary hardship.
Some of us were recently able to listen to Leigh at a Probus meeting. Her story
is amazing.
I hope you enjoy the video…………
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIB2P_AU67U
An
atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by
the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high
into the air.
Then
it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he
cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on God, give me a break!!," the man pleaded. "two minutes ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
DAD JOKES
1.
What do
prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
2.
Why did
the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
3.
Dad,
did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
4.
My
wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right!
5.
How
do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
6.
Why
don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up.
7.
I
don't trust stairs.
They're always up to something.
8.
What
do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
9.
Did
you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
10. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by
itself?
It was two tired.
11. Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'll fit me.
12. Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
13. This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
14. Dad, can you put the cat out?
I didn't know it was on fire.
15. What time did the man go to the
dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
16. How many tickles does it take to make
an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
17.
18. How do you make a tissue dance? You put
a little boogie in it.
19. Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all of its problems!
20. What do you call cheese that isn't
yours? Nacho cheese.
21. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
22. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
23. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I
eat it.
24. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
25. I made a pencil with two erasers. It
was pointless.
26. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a
little boogie in it!
27. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
28. Did you hear about the guy who invented
the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.
29. I've got a great joke about
construction, but I'm still working on it.
30. I used to hate facial hair...but then
it grew on me.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT – PART 1
“Better to remain silent and
be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
“If I were two-faced, would I
be wearing this one?” – Abraham Lincoln
“The best thing about the
future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln
“The only mystery in life is
why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
“Light travels faster than
sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes
“Nobody realizes that some
people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” –
Albert Camus
“Men marry women with the hope
they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change.
Invariably they are both disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
“The difference between
stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” –
Albert Einstein
“All the things I really like
to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.” – Alexander Woollcott
“War is God’s way of teaching
Americans geography.” – Ambrose Bierce
“It would be nice to spend
billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed
for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz
“The average dog is a nicer
person than the average person.” – Andy Rooney
“At every party there are two
kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble
is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers
“If you want your children to
listen, try talking softly to someone else.” – Ann Landers
“Doctors are just the same as
lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors
rob you and kill you too.” – Anton Chekhov
“I don’t believe in astrology;
I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” – Arthur C. Clarke
“My opinions may have changed,
but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“To be sure of hitting the
target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“Trouble knocked at the door,
but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves
to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” – Benny Hill
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener. 😊
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from
you?
Please stay well and as happy as can be.
The bear is after a cuddle..................
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