Sunday, 15 November 2020

Issue No 53 - Wednesday 18 November 2020

EDITORIAL 

The caravan has been inspected and is ready to head east for a short trip (by our standards). The Silly next week should be completed with the bouquet of salt air around me. Maybe also some oysters or similar fare from the sea.

We also intent to spend a few days in the high country and support an area (or two) ravaged by fire last summer.

The need for Silly is waning, but I will try to keep it going until Christmas. When I started, I did not envisage sixty editions – around 300 pages of silliness. 

So maybe the following image is appropriate.



MUSIC TIME

Johnny Cash - Man in Black

A great song in the current time, it has a strong message.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDd32K-mOVw


Best Rock Songs Vietnam War Music Best Rock,
music Of All Time 60s and 70s 

The following video goes for over 80 minutes and has some great music from that era. Turn it up loud and maybe do some work around the house. About 25 minutes in, there is a great version of "The House of the Rising Sun" by Eric Burdon and his Animal mates. "San Francisco" is in there. Who could forget the Trashman and "The Bird Is The Word".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7yUyH0Dpz8


Keith Urban - Making Memories Of Us

A great number from an Aussie………..

If I had a singing voice, this is a song that I would like to sing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSgL01PuAjc


The World's Most Famous Unknown Band

For some foot tapping music click on the following and see if you recognise any of the musicians. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAGdt9d92Q


GARLIC UPDATE FROM AMANDA

Visiting dogs sat on some of the garlic so plant No 1 was removed for examination. See photo below. It is small but Ok.

The rest of the crop can wait until January or February (or more dogs).



DEL SHANNON

The following 1989 video goes for just under an hour. If you are a Del Shannon fan turn the sound up loud and think nice things, or cook some scones. If you don’t like Del Shannon please move on to the next item. I know a couple of guitar players who will tune in. Enjoy……………..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL6h5a2G5AQ



KNOCK KNOCK

Knock knock.

Who's there?

No-one because we're isolating.




WOMEN

1. Water  in the carburettor. 

WIFE:  "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."   

HUSBAND:  "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous "   

WIFE:  "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."   

HUSBAND:  "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?   

WIFE:  "In the river"


2. This is a frightening statistic!

25%  of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.   

That's  scary. It means 75% are running around untreated.

  

3. He  must pay!      

Husband  and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."   

Mom  said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you. 

 

4. Today’s  Short Reading From the Bible...     

From  Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."   

Then  He made the earth round.. .and He laughed and laughed and laughed.




THE DEAF WIFE PROBLEM

We can all perhaps relate to this!!!

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. 

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 

'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' 

No response. 

So, the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?' 

Still no response. 

Next, he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' 

Again, he gets no response. 

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?' 

Again, there is no response. 

So, he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?' 

(I just love this)

'For Pete’s sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'


MORE DAD JOKES 1

1. Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was. It was a brief case.

2. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

3. I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole destroying!

4. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

5. I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

6. Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

7. I thought about going on an all-almond diet… But that's just nuts!

8. My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" And I told him, "No it doesn't!"

9. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down!

10. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!

11. I tell dad jokes but I have no kids…I'm a faux pa!

12. So a vowel saves another vowel's life. The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"

13. Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels overhead!

14. My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They're his watch dogs!

15. If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?!

16. I would avoid the sushi if I were you. It's a little fishy!

17. Five out of four people admit they're bad with fractions!

18. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

19. I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad!

20. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way!



HOW TO EAT A PINEAPPLE WITHOUT KNIFE

This is a bit quirky, but provides food for thought. Maybe someone could give me some feedback.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz3rbk6azCM





ANGELA MERKEL

What a serious operator!!

“She is Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, currently the world's most respected leader, a physics and chemical scientist turned politician (she speaks German, English and Russian perfectly).

She leads the strongest economy in the European Union and the most important in the world, which exports more than 1,550 billion dollars annually.

However, she receives no free state service, no housing, no electricity, no gas, no entertainment expenses, no personal chef, no water, no free phone from the Federal Republic of Germany budget, and lives her life humbly like any other German citizen.

She does her own shopping, carries her own shopping bags, pays for her purchases and if she receives a parking ticket, she pays out of her own pocket.

A reporter recently asked her, "Do you remember I've taken a photo of you in this same dress ten years ago?

She told him: "My mission is to serve my fellow Germans, not to be a model."

It is a pity there are not more like her……….




PLEASE REMEMBER

That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener. 

Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.




Please:


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*** End of Issue No 53  ***

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