EDITORIAL
Premier Dan has said his bit and we can now visit loved ones outside metro Melbourne. The low daily numbers gives us optimism that Christmas may be close to normal. Let’s hope that Santa is not subject to any restrictions.
Our caravan is about to get dusted off. However, the Silly has a few issues to go – at the moment.
Let’s also take a moment to think about people overseas who in most cases are really struggling.
Chris
GARLIC
On
Tuesday 10th November we travelled outside the former “ring of
steel” and saw Amanda’s garlic crop first hand. We were amazed at the density
and height of the crop. The following gives an example of what we saw. Can you see the 1.25 litre Coke bottle?
NOW SOME GREAT MUSIC
Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpqqjU7u5Yc&list=RDfNFzfwLM72c&index=2
Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNFzfwLM72c&list=RDfNFzfwLM72c&index=1
The Traveling Wilburys - End Of The Line
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVjToYOjbM
Note His Reaction When She Sings
An excellent version of Unchained Melody – the Righteous Brothers hit.
by Allie Sherlock & Cuan Durki
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uecFirb4T4
LIFE IS TO BE ENJOYED
This is just a cute video – particularly if you like dogs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZtc029LLKs
TERRIBLE DAD JOKES
1. I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
3. What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish!
4. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it!
5. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
6. Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!
7. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there!
8. What's ET short for? Because he's only got tiny legs!
9. What's brown and sticky? A stick!
10. Can February march? No, but April may!
11. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
12. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put some boogie in it!
13. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands!
14. What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? Sneakers!
15. What do Santa's elves listen to ask they work? Wrap music!
16. Did you hear about the bacon cheeseburger who couldn't stop telling jokes? It was on a roll.
17. Student: "Can I go to the bathroom?"
18. Teacher: "It's 'may.'"
19. Student: "No, it's January."
20. Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine? He wanted his quarter back.
21. Why do vampires seem sick? They're always coffin.
SENIOR CITIZENS LAMENT
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not try to blame others.
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT senior citizens who took:
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement or
God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from Personal relationships and interactions with others!
And, we DO understand the meaning of Patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.
YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!
⦁ I'm the life of the party.....Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
⦁ I'm very good at opening childproof caps.... with a hammer.
⦁ I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
⦁ I'm smiling all the time, because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
⦁ I'm sure everything I can't find is In a safe secure place, somewhere.
⦁ I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
⦁ I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them.
Or, maybe I should send it to all my friends anyway. They won't remember, even if they did send it.
Let's be happy - while we're here.
FOR THE DEEP THINKERS
In the video below, are the balls moving in a straight line, or rotating?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNe6fsaCVtI
DILLS AND DILL- BERRIES
"Dill" is Australian for Idiot.
You can't make this stuff up.
1- DILLBERRY SIGHTINGS AND DILL DETECTIONS: We went through to the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the attendant a $5 note. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money. I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back. She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don't do that kind of thing. The attendant then gave me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the people at McDonald's.
2- DILLBERRY: We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a half a horsepower. He shook his head and said, You need a 1/4 horsepower. I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'Nooo, it'snot. Four is larger than two. We haven't used that repairman since. This happened in Ipswich, Queensland.
3- DILL: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local council office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore. Story from Collingwood, Melbourne.
4- DILL: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask. This happened in Elizabeth S.A.
5- DILLBERRY: The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it lets blind people know when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving? She is a government employee in Adelaide P.O.
6- DILL: When my husband and I arrived at the garage to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. Hey, I announced to the mechanic, 'it's open! His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.
STAY ALERT! They walk among us...and breed!
THE TWO RONNIES COURTROOM QUIZ
An oldie, but a goodie ……………..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOn3gF_OQag
ONE LINERS
1. What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore.
2. When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
3. A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him, "How long have you suffered from that condition?" The guy tells him, "Since next Monday."
4. What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!
5. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
6. What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
7. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
8. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
9. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
10. What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.
11. What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
12. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
13. Did you hear the rumour about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
14. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!
15. Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
16. A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!
17. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
18. What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!
19. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it!
20. Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it!
21. I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary. I told him, "Mark, my words!"
22. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
23. I'm starting a new dating service in Prague. It's called Czech-Mate.
24. I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
25. Good thymes.
26. Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
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