EDITORIAL
The big news for this issue is that I have cut off my beard for the first time since 1973, or thereabouts. I have even had a self-administered haircut. There is a photo somewhere below.
Maybe the following image reflects your current feeling. If so, please hang in there – we are getting closer to the other side.
FORTUNE TELLER
The following is close to the truth….
PINK ELEPHANT?
The following video should give you a smile.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwJfXgTO7J4
Understanding Engineers 7
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a spanner from her purse, Imageloosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "6.5 metres," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and have been elected to Parliament.
THIS IS CUTE - EVERY DOG SHOULD HAVE A CHILD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4FFIHiN0AY
THIS IS ALSO CUTE - LE FLASHMOB DES PRODIGES
And has some good music and voices ….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eee4-d7FUis&list=RDKWBQSLR5VW0&index=16
SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE
This is a very old movie, from our National Archive, but none the less, very interesting. To see Sydney Harbour with no bridge, and the ferries and trams at Circular Quay.
Note everyone wore a hat, but no hard hats or safety glasses!
http://www.youtube.com/embed/Jy5cZ-IO0Eg?feature=player_detailpage
GRAMMAR UPDATE
Everyone can use a little “grammar” update now and then so here’s yours for today.
Is it "complete", "finished" or "completely finished"? No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words - "Complete" and "Finished".
In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.
The final question was: 'How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.'
Here is his astute answer:
"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"
He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch!
Editor Without Beard
GALWAY GIRL – CELTIC THUNDER
A good mate submitted the following version as a follow up to the Steve Earle version in the last issue.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8CVQBgBSL8&list=PLpiIbe5mBF0I4MWX2s9ZbiZC3gT2WxNtT&index=15
GORILLAS
Damian Aspinall and his wife, Victoria, made a special trip to a gorilla sanctuary in Gabon. The Gorillas have met Damian before but they have never met his wife. This is the moment where the gorillas decide if Victoria is welcomed or not........
https://www.chonday.com/ videos/gorencda5/
ONLY IF YOU ARE A FAN OF THE MOON
On the 31st of July 2019, this beautiful time-lapse rise of the Full Blue Moon was captured 2 miles away from Cape Byron Lighthouse, on Belongil Beach, Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia.
The headland and lighthouse at Byron Bay is the most easterly point of the Australian Mainland and therefore is the first place in Australia to watch the full moon rise. This video is made up of 1038 frames and slowed down to as close to real time as possible. The photographer has been working on perfecting this type of time lapse for over a year now after seeing the work of his favourite photographer Mark Gee.
Don't forget to breathe watching this majestic time-lapse; everything about it is just perfect, and it's a photography clinic for anyone interested in taking time-lapse.
https://player.vimeo.com/video/137218768
NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN………..
One new skill I have learned during the COVID lockdown is how to join two ends of a rope, with a short or long splice, partly because I needed to, and partly because I have always wanted to. The joys of YouTube videos.
What have you attempted? Please tell me.
REPAIRING HEARTS:
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine.
I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.
So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."
PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE
The following video has a wonderful message. It may cause you to think. It may make you smile. Check out the brand of beer in the video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqGRnlXplx0
GETTING OLDER CAN CREATE SMILES…..
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
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Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old.."
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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Some people try to turn back their dometers. Not me!
I want people to know why I look this way.
I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
*********************
(And this final one)
"Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"
Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . ... . stick around awhile . . . it will!
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine.
If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from you?
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
*** End of Issue No 44 ***
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