Monday, 7 September 2020

Issue No 43 - Wednesday 9 September

EDITORIAL – LABOUR OF LOVE

This is the 43rd issue of the Silly. It has cost me an enormous amount of time and provided an even larger amount of enjoyment.

I have had a huge amount of laughter and fun – and satisfaction. I have been able to find some wonderful music – a lot of it with the help of readers. Some of it is old, some new, Some amateur, some professional.

We had two versions of Hallelujah a couple of issues ago. I have since been introduced, by a great friend, to Karolina Protsenko & Daniele Vitale. If you like the version of Hallelujah below maybe do an internet search on the artists. They have posted some great music.

Karolina is an 11 year old Ukrainian who now lives in the USA. Daniele, the sax player, is a street artist from Naples in Italy.

HALLELUJAH - VIOLIN AND SAX COVER
KAROLINA PROTSENKO & DANIELE VITALE

I hope you enjoy Karolina & Daniele.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbK62YW03Yk



MATHEMATICAL QUIZ

What is the number? Our Grade 5 grandson had this for school!

It is less than 10, but greater than one.

It has four digits.

The ones and tenths digit are odd.

The sum of the ones and tenths digit is 10.

The tenths digits is seven less than the hundredths digit.

The sum of the hundredths and thousandths digit is 10.

The answer is somewhere later in this issue. You get extra points if you do NOT use all of the clues.



GALWAY GIRL – STEVE EARLE

This first came to my attention from Shirley’s line dancing and I was captivated. Of course, it has nothing to do with my Irish Galway roots. 

I hope you like it………..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Lcnvd8BNFE


THE FUREYS - WHEN YOU WERE SWEET SIXTEEN

While on an Irish theme lets have another great number – also about a lovely Irish lady…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUP9uMh5ypM


RIVERDANCE

Good things come in threes. Now onto Irish dance. This is where the Riverdance phenomenon started. I suggest that you read the words through the intro ……..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0v_pu6miJ8



COMPUTER GENDER

The ability to laugh is very important. I hope you can get a good belly laugh out of learning all about the gender of computers……

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFptlmGCOVI




VOLKSWAGEN SELLS MORE OF WHAT THING THAN THEY SELL CARS?       

A.     Umbrellas

B.     Sausages

C.     Bicycles

D.     Refrigerators

The ANSWER  is B. Sausages 

Volkswagen has been making cars since 1937 and, thanks to the expansion of operations over the years as well as the umbrella Volkswagen Group (including car companies like Audi, Bentley, Porsche, and more in addition to Volkswagen models), it’s the second largest automotive manufacturer in the world. 

But there’s one thing that Volkswagen sells more of than Volkswagen cars, and it’s entirely unrelated to the automotive field: sausages. Since the early 1970s, Volkswagen has produced sausages in-house, specifically the semi-spicy German sausage currywurst, at a butchery located in their Wolfsburg plant for their employees. Say what you want about Germans loving sausage, but love sausage they do; the annual consumption of currywurst sausage alone in Germany is in the hundreds of millions of units per year. 

Early on, the sausages were only available to employees, visitors, and prospective clients, but they’ve been available to the public for years (first in Germany and now in eleven other countries). They’re so popular that in the last few years, sales of the sausages have outpaced the sales of Volkswagen brand cars.




TERRY FATOR AND THE HUMAN CHER PUPPET

Click on the following for some great musical humour ……………

https://1funny.com/terry-fator-and-the-human-cher-puppet/


Understanding Engineers 4

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" 

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" 

The graduate with a Commerce degree asks, "How much will it cost?" 

The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?




DIARY OF A LOCKDOWN VICTIM

This Level 3 lockdown that we're having to endure is getting old and quite frankly I’ve had enough. 

I’ve discussed the matter over a cup of coffee with the kitchen sink, and we both agree that the experience is draining.

I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts the wrong spin on everything.

Same with the fridge. He only gives cold shoulder. I asked the lamp, but she couldn’t shed any new light on the situation.

The vacuum cleaner was rather rude and told me to suck it up Princess. 

The carpet advised me to sweep my feelings under the rug. But the fan was more upbeat and thought that the crisis would soon blow over.

The toilet looked a bit flushed and didn’t offer an opinion apart from "sit down". 

The wall didn’t say a word either, just gave me a blank stare.

The doorknob was more forthcoming - told me to get a firm grip on the situation and move on.

The front door declared I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to.....you guessed it - pull myself together.

Then the chair told me to table it, and the table remarked, I didn’t have a leg to stand on. When I told the table to break a leg, the mirror said that my comments reflected poorly on my thinking.

ImageHowever, in the end, the iron set things straight. She said everything will be fine and warm if you can turn me on. 

No situation is, too pressing for long, anyway.........



 


SANDRA BOYNTON'S C. A. T.

A bit of light hearted music for the readers who enjoy the feline species…………

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJENHesgQP0


MATHEMATICAL QUIZ ANSWER - 9.182

Explanation………

For ease call the ones number A, the tenths B, the hundredths C and the thousandth D.

B is 7 less than C. B must be 1 as it has to be odd. If B was 3 then C would be 10 which is invalid.

If B is 1 then C must be 8.

A and B add up to 10, so A must be 9.

ImageA + B + C + D add up to 20, 

so D must be 2 (as A + B + C = 18).


IRISH GOLF CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP

Milo and Stosh are standing on the 18th tee at their Irish Country Club. They are the final twosome in the Irish Country Club Championship and are tied for the lead. The 18th hole is a beautiful par four with a deep valley, descending down to a dogleg right. 

Both Milo and Stosh hit long, straight tee shots which disappear down into the valley. A short time later, the fore caddie appears at the top of the hill and announces that both balls are within 6 inches of each other but there's a problem. Both of the golf balls are Titleist # 4s. 

Milo and Stosh look at each other and realize that they had not informed each other as to what kind of ball they were playing, nor its number. They quickly descend into the valley and, sure enough, their two Titleist golf balls are right next to each at the bottom of the valley in the middle of the fairway. 

Stosh looks at Milo and says, "We had better get a ruling from a tournament official to straighten this out. This is the Irish Country Club Championships and we don't want to be disqualified for making a mistake and hitting the wrong ball. After all, we are tied for the lead.” 

What would your ruling be? 

The answer is on the next page……………..



UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS 5

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it isn't sufficiently complex yet. 



 

TIME FOR AN ADVERTISEMENT

I have to pay for my efforts somehow, so please watch the following ad (from the BBC).

Make sure that the sound is on………..

https://www.youtube.com/embed/auSo1MyWf8g?rel=0




Understanding Engineers 6

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." 

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. 

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." 

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. 

ImageThe frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." 

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. 

Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" 

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog - now that's cool." 


IRISH GOLF CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP – Answer

Soon after, a rules official appears and examines the two # 4 Titleist golf balls. 

He then looks up at Milo and Stosh and says, "Which one of you is playing the orange ball?



PLEASE REMEMBER

That laughter is the best medicine.

If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener. 

Please stay well and as happy as can be.

Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.



Please:


Click here to go to the next issue. 
Click here to go to the previous issue.
Click here to go to the Table of Contents.


*** End of Issue No 43  ***


No comments:

Post a Comment