EDITORIAL
Spring is here. More flowers will start to bloom. Vegy gardens will be getting their annual rejuvenation. The weather will gradually get warmer. Melbourne being Melbourne there will be a few hiccups along the way.
Figure 2 - Orchid Recently in Bloom
Garden colour at home during COVID has centered around Shirley’s magnificent (hand-me-down) orchids (see photos) and jonquils. Lately, Shirley’s soldiers have taken over (Figure 3).
GARLIC UPDATE
The following photo is an update on Amanda’s garlic.
Understanding Engineers 2
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't think I've ever seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here's anything she can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
DROVER AT THE PEARLY GATES...
A drover from a huge cattle station in the outback of Australia appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered.
"On a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales, I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a young lass. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the hell out of the lot of ya!"
St. Peter was impressed "When did this happen?"
"A couple of minutes ago."
“LE PETIT CHEF”- FRENCH RESTAURANT
This is a 90-second video from a small country restaurant in France, which keeps its customers entertained while they are waiting for the main course.
The French restaurant “Le Petit Chef”(Little Chef) came up with an original way to entertain guests while waiting for their order by using an overhead projector on the ceiling. The animation is on the table and your plate. There is a small chef who appears on your plate. Watch what he does, truly amazing, bon appétit.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/yBJEP4lsRFY
ATLANTIC RYTHM SECTION
The following is a track from the Atlantic Rythm Section (ARS) called "I'm not gonna let it bother me tonight".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM7odiqlrWE
Macca has been playing it the last few weeks on Australia Allover. The lyrics seem to be appropriate for the times. They had a few great tracks during the 70s.
SANDRA BOYNTON’S CHANSON PROFONDE WITH YO-YO MA
The words on the video say it all. Enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeAfI7GxUQQ
RETIREE MENTAL FITNESS EVALUATION
This test is to ascertain your mental state now. If you get one right you are doing ok, if you get none right you better go for counselling. There are four test questions. Don't miss one.
Giraffe Test 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.
The correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
Elephant Test 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
Lion King Test 3. The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference. All the animals attend ... except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.
This tests your memory.
Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
Crocodile Test 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across.
Haven't you been lis-ten-ing? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Retirees they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most Retirees do not have the brains of a four-year-old.
Understanding Engineers 3
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
INSPIRATION – LIVE BEFORE I DIE
I went looking for some music
to finish this issue and found the
following inspirational video.
Very timely in this COVID world. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
We CAN do it……….
ONE MORE
This is for the people
who love to get away – and normally would be up north at this time of
the year.
Please enjoy Troy Cassar-Daley and Adam Harvey with Lights on the Hill, a Slim Dusty classic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIb3sgzADYs
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine.
If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
*** End of Issue No 42 ***
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