SILLY - Self Isolating Lazy Loafing Yobbo
EDITORIAL
It appears that the daily cases of COVID is on a downward trend, although the death toll is heart-breaking.
If we can all “hang in there” for a few more weeks (or a bit more) we should have optimism for Christmas. What a staggering year 2020 has become!
I don’t really want the Silly Newsletter to reach 50 issues, but if it has to, I will do my best.
We have less than two weeks of winter left so we should see a gradual improvement in the weather.
Read on, enjoy the music, and try to smile as you go …..
NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
Maybe they could have given these more thought….
…………MUSIC TIME………………
PHANTOM IN THE KITCHEN
This may slightly offend lovers of Phantom of the Opera (of which I am one), but it is very clever. Enjoy it – I did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w31L1cCoVYo
A BLAST FROM THE PAST
Readers who have been around a while will probably remember Victor Borge. The following is a blast from the past.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtDX1Vl-Jxk
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU - FOREIGNER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgiIFBgJ-lM
IN THE AIR TONIGHT - PHIL COLLINS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFkIKd6md6g
DO YOU REMEMBER - PHIL COLLINS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDNpNP35A_8
APHORISMS
A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation or a general truth.
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humour you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conferences are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at school reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call from a wrong number at 4am; for example, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
14 I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print, there's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
18. Money can't buy happiness but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Ferrari than in a Ford.
19. After 70 if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because people that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow but it's still a gift. And remember;
"Politicians and nappies should be changed often and for the same reason."
SYNCHRONIZED PERFECTLY
Click on the following, then try NOT to tap your foot….
https://1funny.com/i-want-my-dime-back/
ONE LINERS
So we're into our 5th month of defeating COVID‑19. These words made me laugh but there's a lot of truth mixed in to consider. . .🤔 😂
1. So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitiser and hand soap?
2. Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do.
3. When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me.
4. If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly among politicians and bureaucrats.
5. Just wait a second – so what you're telling me is that my chance of surviving all this is directly linked to the common sense of others? You’re kidding, right?
6. People are scared of getting fined or arrested for congregating in crowds, as if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent.
7. If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal just because we reopen everything, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it.
8. Another Saturday night in the house and I just realised the trash goes out more than me.
9. Whoever decided a liquor store is more essential than a hair salon is obviously a bald-headed alcoholic.
10. Remember when you were little and all your underwear had the days of the week on them. Those would be helpful right now.
11. The spread of Covid-19 is based on two factors: 1. How dense the population is and 2. How dense the population is.
12. Remember all those times when you wished the weekend would last forever? Well, wish granted. Happy now?
13. It may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a whole vineyard to home school one.
14. Washed a big load of pyjamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for this week.
ITALIAN AUCTION
It pays to be careful ………….
http://www.youtube.com/embed/3e0yZCLjwfU?rel
FEEL GOOD STORY
The following is a feel-good basketball story, but it more than that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1XNxU_D0No
SOME AMERICAN HUMOUR
Mark Twain - Be careful when reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
George Burns - The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, and to have the two as close together as possible.
Jimmy Durante - My wife has a slight speech impediment. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
Rodney Dangerfield - My luck is so bad, if a bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
Groucho Marx - I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
ANDREA BOCELLI AND KATHARINE MCPHEE - THE PRAYER
Another lovely piece of music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5vrPaE5Y1o
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from you?
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
*** End of Issue No 39 ***
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