EDITORIAL
We start this issue with a number of musical videos. They seemed to have been a bit of hit lately, so I will try to add more as we go along.
MAY THE ROAD RISE - A NEW DAWN
To get into the Irish mood please click on the following to hear some very pleasant music.
SOME
HISTORY & GEOGRAPHY
The Fields of Athenry - The Dubliners
Athenry is a town of 4500 people in County Galway, Ireland, around 25 km east of Galway City. My paternal great grand-father came from Athenry to Australia in 1853. I hope you enjoy the words ……….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NlrsmEvv1Q
The following
is a version by Mary Duff…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNCdhzcFSNs
MATT & SAVANNA SHAW
I received some great feedback after the last issue so I provide another track from this father – daughter duo. Please enjoy The Prayer.
NO GARLIC PHOTOS THIS WEEK
There is no reported progress on Amanda’s garlic plants this week, so I thought that I would display some of Amanda’s ISO cooking methods.
Figure 1 - Outdoor stove with cast iron kettle, cast iron camp oven
(with chicken) and cast iron frying pan ready for some vegies.
(with chicken) and cast iron frying pan ready for some vegies.
Figure 2 - BBQ food on a plate over a fire that also serves
for spit roasting of meat. Corn & asparagus added later.
Maybe some other time we will display some of Amanda’s outdoor fires …….
COLD PORRIDGE, by Spike Milligan
On a plinth in London,
A statue we should see,
of porridge made in Scotland,
Signed Oatmeal OBE
TEXTING CODE ETC
Since Youngsters of today have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc) the Oldies decided not to be outdone by these kids, and have developed our own codes as well:
ATD – At the Doctor’s
BFF - Best Friend’s Funeral
BTW – Bring the wheelchair
BYOT – Bring your own teeth
FWIW – Forgot where I was
GGPBL – Gotta go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA – Got heartburn again
TFT – Texting from Toilet
IT CAN COME BACK TO YOU!
An eight-year old girl went to the office with her father on “Take your Kid to Work Day”. As they were walking around the office the young girl started crying and getting very cranky. Her father asked what was wrong with her?
As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly: “Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?”
EMANNE BEASHA
Click on the following to hear a ten year old opera singer singing "Nessun Dorma" in an America's Got Talent 2019 Audition
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Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
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The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
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The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
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I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
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Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
DIFFERENT RENDITION OF RAVEL’S "BOLERO"
If you like Ravel’s "Bolero" you may be interested in this version, played by the Wiener Cello Ensemble.
SHORT STORIES
I got a wooden motorcycle. It had wooden bars, wooden seat and wooden wheels.
It wooden start.
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What did the Chinese Janitor say when he jumped out of the closet.
Supplies!!
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To keep fit, I’ve taken up quiet tennis.
Without the racquet.
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Most ornamental figurines found in the garden are only 30 cm tall and wear red hats.
It’s a gnome fact….
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I don’t always roll a joint.
But when I do, it is my ankle.
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The mountains aren’t just funny, they’re ….
Hill areas.
Image-------
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Walking down the street last night, I passed an apple pie, an ice cream sundae and a lemon cheesecake …..
I thought to myself “the streets are strangely desserted”.
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My doctor tells me I’ve got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
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I know a lot of jokes about retired people.
But none of them work.
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What type of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toed.
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My friends say I’m the cheapest person they’ve ever met.
But I’m not buying it.
THE OLD LADY AND HER BANK
The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.
The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”
The old lady then asked, “Why?”
The teller irritably told her, “These are the rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.”
She then returned the card to the old lady.
The old lady remained silent … but then she returned the card to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and said to the old lady, “My apologies Granny, you have $3.5 million in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently.
Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?
The old lady then asked, “How much am I able to withdraw now?
The teller told her, “Any amount up to $300,000.”
The old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw $300,000 from her account.
The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully.
The old lady put $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $299,500 back into her account.
Don't be difficult with old people ...
we can outwit the young and dumb.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
I am not sure if these have appeared before.
⦁ Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
⦁ If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
⦁ Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
⦁ Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
⦁ If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
⦁ If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
⦁ Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
⦁ If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
⦁ If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
⦁ Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
⦁ What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
ImageI thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?
FINALE
With
the way things are in Melbourne at the moment I reckon the following is a great
way to finish Silly No 37. Turn up the volume and grab a tissue………………..
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine.
If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from you?
Please stay well and as happy as can be.
The bear is after a cuddle.
.
*** End of Issue No 37 ***
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