EDITORIAL
The first issue of the Silly was sent to 46 email addresses, maybe covering 70 people. Now it is being sent to nearly 80 email addresses, covering well over 120 people – not to mention those people who have it forwarded to them.
I hope it has been worthwhile. It is not finished yet. As a reader said last week “do not get a ‘stitch’”. I will try not to.
On the long weekend we met some friends for a walk at Badger Creek Weir. Afterwards we had a pie and coffee for lunch in Healesville. The following photos were taken on our walk.
Above & Below: Badger's Creek, near Healesville.
AMANDA’S GARLIC
The following
photo shows some of Amanda’s impressive garlic plants, some maybe 200 mm high.
THE BEST WAY TO ZOOM (OR NOT TO)
The following link shows a video on how to best manage a ZOOM video meeting:
TYPEWRITER MAGIC
Take a few minutes to watch this. You will feel very humble. It’s incredible!
APOLOGY
I have had a reader who reports that my “full stops” are all upside down.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always Catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap……
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
ROBERT T LEONARD TO TOM JONES
Click on the attached for a new version of some Tom Jones music………..
GAS
An elderly couple were attending church when about halfway through the service she leans over and says to him, "I just had a silent passing of gas. What should I do?"
Her husband leans over to her and replies, "When we get home put a new battery in your hearing aid."
MORE IRISH
Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, "Do you want the winner of the next race?"
Paddy replies "No tanks, oi've only got a small yard."
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Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station. Mick "What if one explodes before we get there?" Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two!"
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A coach load of paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going the driver won £52!
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Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires stickin out of it. He phones the police and says "Bejasus I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb."
The operator asks, "is it tickin? Paddy says "No, oi tink it's beef"
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Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're making love to your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
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Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."
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Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. Three years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?." Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me!"
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Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year" Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
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Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him.. "Did you find the shampoo?"
Paddy says, "Oi did, but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."
HOW MANY Vs ARE IN THE PUZZLE BELOW?
MEN AND WOMEN RECORDING THINGS IN THEIR DIARIES….
Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him.. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband's Diary:
A one-foot putt. Who the hell misses a one-foot putt?
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine.
If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from you? Please stay well and as happy as can be.
The bear still is after a cuddle. 😊
*** End of Issue No 27 ***
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