StrongLY Independent LIFE Loving Yobbo
EDITORIAL
Yesterday the Kelly’s had the first “extended family” birthday party for a long time. Sparklers replaced the traditional candles – so the icing on the cake was a bit dryer when served.
The lamb roast was also pretty good, as was the Heathcote shiraz.
We all have a long way to go, but I guess we are all starting to move around, albeit some slower than others.
So take care and stay healthy.
Chris
AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES......
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
⦁ Knowing when to come in out of the rain.
⦁ Why the early bird gets the worm;?
⦁ Life isn't always fair.
⦁ And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death:
⦁ by his parents, Truth and Trust,
⦁ by his wife, Discretion,
⦁ by his daughter, Responsibility,
⦁ and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepchildren:
⦁ I Know My Rights
⦁ I Want It Now
⦁ Someone Else Is To Blame
⦁ I'm A Victim
⦁ Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
KEUKENHOF SPRING FLOWERS - THE NETHERLANDS
If you love flowers, particularly tulips, click on the link below. Maybe first grab a cuppa as the amazing images last for 34 minutes…..
WISE WORDS FROM WINSTON CHURCHILL
Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.
You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.
Fear is a reaction courage is a decision.
A nation that forgets its past has no future.
The positive thinker sees the INVISIBLE, feels the INTANGIBLE, and achieves the impossible.
There is nothing government can give you that it hasn't taken from you in the first place.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
A good speech should be like a woman skirt; long enough to cover the subject and sure enough to create interest.
The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
However beautiful the strategy shoot you should occasionally look at the results.
You you don't make the poor richer by making the rich poorer.
I like it's halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.
Life is full of opportunities to keep your mouth shut.
GONE TO HEAVEN
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven. Don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck".
BEAUTIFUL VOCALS
If you enjoy male vocals click on the following link, sit back and enjoy:
THOUGHTS TO PONDER ...
Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
Do twins ever realize that one of them was unplanned?
Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you, and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".
100 years ago, everyone owned a horse, and only the rich had cars.
Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
FOUR GREAT UNRESOLVED CONFUSIONS!
1) At a movie theatre, which armrest is yours?
2) If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
3) Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
4) Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
VAGARIES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
Why does the word "Funeral" start with FUN?
Why isn't a fireman called a waterman?
How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?
If money doesn't grow on trees, how come banks have branches?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO, and those sent by truck called SHIPMENT?
Why do we put cups in the dishwasher, and dishes in the cupboard?
Why is it called "Rush Hour" when traffic moves at its slowest then?
How come noses run and feet smell ?
Why do they call it a TV "set" when there is only one?
What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine.
If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from you? Please stay well and as happy as can be.
The bear still is after a cuddle. 😊
*** End of Issue No 26 ***
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