EDITORIAL
Hello again. Shirley and I have nearly completed our first
two weeks of (near) self isolation. I have not been to Bunnings in that
time – a huge achievement in itself.
We have successfully completed our first supermarket online escapade. We have also had successful online shopping activities with the greengrocer, chemist and for printer ink.
My shed has been returned to its former glory, and is not a health hazard to get into. I just hope I can find everything that has been stored in a "safe" place.
Recent very welcome rain has made the garden look even better. Now we wait for the weeds to appear and the lawn to grown. Autumn leaves are starting to fall, so that adds another job to our activities.
Today’s
positive look at life is provided below. These is another one further down.We have successfully completed our first supermarket online escapade. We have also had successful online shopping activities with the greengrocer, chemist and for printer ink.
My shed has been returned to its former glory, and is not a health hazard to get into. I just hope I can find everything that has been stored in a "safe" place.
Recent very welcome rain has made the garden look even better. Now we wait for the weeds to appear and the lawn to grown. Autumn leaves are starting to fall, so that adds another job to our activities.
Editor Chris.
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ IN ISSUE 5
1. Bottom
2. 6
3. Right
4. 1 and 0
5. 50
6. 6
7. 3
8. Clockwise
AUSTIN HEALTH TEST
Melbourne's
Austin Health has established an online form, if you are worried about whether
you may have COVID-19. Please do not use this needlessly as it takes up Austin
resources. Click on the link if you are concerned:
SPRINGTIME IN ENGLAND 2020
Springtime
is still re-birthing
Through
uncertainty and fear,
Everyone’s
so grateful
To see these
signs of hope appear.
The gardens
of the stately homes
Put on their
magic show,
But people
cannot walk their paths
To watch
their beauty grow.
Daffodils
reach to the skies
But get no
admiration,
They do
their best to lift the hearts
Of a very
worried nation.
Like those
sturdy daffodils
We’ll store
our strength within
And next
year when the nightmare’s gone
We’ll
re-birth again like Spring.
HOME-SCHOOLING –
Learning fractions
Feel free to get a refresher on
fractions via the link below:
SOUNDS OF SILENCE
Please enjoy this parody of the
famous Simon
and Garfunkel song, The Sound of Silence,
retitled Fight
the Virus, by Alvin Oon of Singapore.Just click on the link below:
https://www.westmountmag.ca/the-sound-of-silence-meets-covid-19/
You may have to put up with an ad or two.
JOKE
A man had a map of the world and
told his wife to throw the dart and wherever it landed he would take her for a
two week holiday. They are spending it behind the refrigerator.
DID I READ THAT SIGN RIGHT?
Toilet
out of order. Please use floor below.
---------------In a laundromat: Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
---------------
In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs...
---------------
In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
---------------
In an office: After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
---------------
Outside a second-hand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
---------------
Notice in health food shop window: Closed due to illness...
---------------
Spotted in a safari park: Elephants, please stay in your car.
---------------
Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
---------------
Notice in a farmer's field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
---------------
Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
---------------
On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.)?
HOME
SCHOOLING
Most of us over 65 were Home Schooled in many ways...
My mother taught me TO
APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -"If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
My mother taught me RELIGION -"You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."
My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock
you into the middle of next week!"
My father taught me LOGIC
"Because I said so, that's why
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your
neck, you're not going to the store with me."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT
Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in
an accident."
My father taught me IRONY -"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry
about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM -"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your
neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
My mother taught me about WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went
through it."My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million
times, don't exaggerate!"
My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take
you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION -"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY -"There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home."
My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it from your father when he
gets home!"
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a
good listener. 😊
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