ISSUE 3 EDITORIAL
Hello again. I was thinking of maybe getting one
newsletter out each week, but here we are with the third edition inside the
first week – and a Sunday Edition as well.
Thank you to the people who have responded
with articles and humour. Thank you to the people who provided a suggested
meaning for the Silly acronym. We have some great suggestions. The above
title is my creation from the great ideas that a number of you submitted. The word isolated could easily have
been insecure or inebriated, or a number of other “I” words.
I also contemplated “self inebriated life
loving yobbo”, but it was too close to home. 😊
In addition the “i” of silly was all about “isolation” so I wanted to retain that theme.
I may need to hire some staff to manage the
points system for prizes and submissions. I have applied to our local member
for a grant to get this going. Stay tuned for progress on that one.In addition the “i” of silly was all about “isolation” so I wanted to retain that theme.
Imagine what rubbish I could write after a
few glasses of wine.
Editor Chris
MORE FROM THE AUTOGRAPH BOOK JM
Moses was a holy man
Of children he had seven.
He bought them all a donkey cart
To take them up to Heaven.
The road was long and stony,
And Moses knew it well.
But the donkey tripped,
And the cart tipped
And they all went down to XXXX
---------------Of children he had seven.
He bought them all a donkey cart
To take them up to Heaven.
The road was long and stony,
And Moses knew it well.
But the donkey tripped,
And the cart tipped
And they all went down to XXXX
Life is only froth and bubble.
Two things stand like stone;
Kindness in another’s trouble,
Courage in your own.
--------------
Algy met a bear,
The bear met Algy.
The bear grew bulgy,
The bulge was Algy.
---------------
Hickory, Dickory, Dock,
Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
And the others only received minor injuries.
---------------
Within the darkened room,
The wicked woman stands.
“I cannot do the deed,” she says,
The knife falls from her hand.
“But then again, I must,”she says,
As the knife again she feels,
And, as the tears roll down her cheeks,
The onion then she peels.
---------------
Little drops of water
Added to the milk
Give the milkman’s daughter
Dresses of fine silk.
--------------
Never make love near a paddock, because
Potatoes have eyes,
Wheat has ears,
And horses carry tails.
CIRCULATION
If
you know someone who would get a smile from this newsletter please feel free to
pass copies on to them.
I
have not considered how to access past copies. However, if this need arises I
probably have the time to consider doing something about it. EditorJOKES
Mick met Paddy in the street one morning and
said to him “the boys are havin’ a bit of a laugh – apparently they passed your
place last night, and they saw you and your wife havin’ it on in bed. You
should close your blinds.”
Paddy replied, “Well, looks like the jokes on
me. I didn’t go home last night.”
SOME GREAT LINES FROM GROUCHO MARX:
·
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
·
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.· One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How it got into my pyjamas, I’ll never know.
· I’d horse-whip you if I had a horse.
· Those are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others.
· A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
LIMERICK JC
There was a young fellow named KellyWho had a particular craving for jelly.
He would consume it with vigour
With no thought to his figure
Which resulted in a very sore belly.
SOME INTERESTING FACTS JC
·
The
world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9, and lived in China in 1910.
·
‘I
am’ is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
·
The
youngest Pope was 11 years old.
·
In
Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When the
ropes were pulled the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
·
Hence the phrase ‘good night, sleep tight.’
·
If a statue in the park of a person on horseback has both
legs of the horse on the air, the person died in battle
·
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person
died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs
on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
·
In
Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden
……and the word GOLF entered into the English language.
FROM A KELLY AUTOGRAPH BOOK, 1908
The
world is full of willing people,
Some willing to work
Others willing to let them.
---------------Some willing to work
Others willing to let them.
We judge ourselves by what we are capable of doing; while others judge us by what we have already done.
Editor: Still relevant 112
years later.
All
this talk of COVID-19 is depressing. Look below some better lab
results >> |
| Better Lab Results |
AFL UPDATE
We
should spend a few moments to also consider the AFL members & supporters
who will be lost as the AFL season implodes. One hates to think that the AFL
may be forced to cancel the entire season, like they did to the women (who were
on the cusp of the grand final). The cancellation was expected as Carlton were
expected to walk away with the flag – so cancellation was the only option.
Does
anyone want to guess what would happen if the season was cancelled and we had a
gap for 2020. Good trivia question in 85 years! At least we could have a
Brownlow and Coleman winner, although we could have heaps of both – including a
Carlton guy for the Coleman.
In
the interests of fairness, if footy fans (or otherwise) want to contribute
alternate arguments then I commit to publishing them in a future edition. Footy
can be defined as any sport that involved a ball. Could be fun.
SHOPPING
ONLINE
With social
isolation online shopping has to be all the go. Can we start a discussion
around:
·
Have you tried it?
·
How was it?· Are there pitfalls, and what are they?
· Who did you shop with?
ALARMING CUSTOMS DISCOVERY DC
Customs officers have seized
10,000 toilet rolls concealed in a shipment of cocaine.
A COUPLE of CRYPTIC POSERS JC
Emulate bird leaving behind chedule.
Answer: LATE (leave behind bird = Emu, and you are left with LATE.
Two elves missing, so leaving adozen.
Answer: TWELVE (so taken from two elves).
Col transferred, with little hesitation, to
become substitute hysician. Answer: TWELVE (so taken from two elves).
Answer: LOCUM (Col transferred = loc; plus um = hesitation
SOME IDEAS
There are lots of things to do online if you are computer inclined, such as these found on the following link:
https://www.racv.com.au/royalauto/living/at-home/things-to-do-home-self-isolation.html?mid=2345455&edm_id=edm:racv_enews&cmpid=edm:racv_enews
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener. 😊
Please stay well and as happy as can be.
The bear is after a cuddle. 😊
The bear is after a cuddle. 😊
Please:
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