C19 "Silly" Newsletter: Issue No 2 - Friday 27 March 2020

ISSUE 2 EDITORIAL

Hello again. I have been amazed and over-whelmed by the level of support and feedback. Thank you to the people who responded positively, and who responded with articles and humour.

Thank you to the people who provided a suggested meaning for the Silly acronym. These will be included below, with a result after everyone has had a chance to respond. A special thank you to the people who thought that such a newsletter idea was worthwhile.

I have dropped Kelly from the newsletter name as it is not about me. It is about you, your health and the width of your smiles.

Editor Chris

SOME RULES

I am very sensitive to privacy considerations. Therefore, the following rules will apply, and may be adjusted as my solicitor provides feedback:

1. I will not use your name to acknowledge prizes or articles inserted unless you have given me permission in writing.

2. I will use your initials to acknowledge the same stuff unless you ask me not to.

3. Points will be awarded for articles and prizes.

4. I have the final say in awarding of points and prizes.

5. No correspondence will be entered into regarding points 3, 4 and 5.

ZOOM

Less than one week ago I was made aware of video conferencing software called ZOOM. I know for certain that ZOOM works on a windows PC, an iPad and a smartphone.

My daughter and financial adviser have been using it for some time, to access remote clients.
Today I used it (over 4 sessions) to talk to our financial adviser, daughters, grandsons, grand-daughters and mates of a daughter.

If you have family or friends who you wish to have a video chat with maybe give it a go. If you love and use SKYPE maybe stay with that product.

If you are not quite computer literate let me know and I will try to help. We may even have a tutorial in a future edition.

SILLY ACRONYM

The following have been submitted for consideration:
Self Isolated Living Large Yes                             MC
Serious Isolators Last Longer YES                       BB
Social Isolation Living (the) Life Yeah                 NJ
Simple Isolation Ludicrously Long Year           MH
Strong Independent Letter Loving Yobbo      MG
Self Isolation Lovers Love Yellow                        CK

Thank you to those people. Please advise your favourite. There could be more. I hope so.

CORONAVIRUS UNEMPLOYMENT BLUES JM

Due to the current financial situation caused by the Corona Virus and slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your TD, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS – Due to Corona Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

CIRCULATION

If you know someone who would get a smile from this newsletter please feel free to pass copies on to them.

I have not considered how to access past copies. However, if this need arises I probably have the time to consider doing something about it. Editor

FROM AN AUTOGRAPH BOOK JM

Never trouble trouble
Till trouble troubles you
You’ll only double trouble
And trouble others too.

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It’s hard to part when friends are dear
And the heart is full of hope;
But it’s harder still to find the towel
When your eyes are full of soap.

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Little drops of water
Wear away the rock.
Little bits of toe nail
Wear away the sock.

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When you get married
And hubby is cross
Just pick up the poker
And say “I’m the boss”.

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Love many, trust few,
Always paddle your own canoe.

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Little dog, crossing street,
Speeding car, Sausage meat.

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2 y’s u r,
2 y’s u b,
I c u r
2 y’s 4 me

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1 1 was a racehorse,
2 2 was 1 2.
1 1 1 1 race,
2 2 1 1 2.

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Honeymoon salad. Lettuce alone!!

Editor: Maybe a few more people could drag out their autograph book and send along a few ditties.

FAMILY HISTORY

Have you ever told yourself that you would like to track down which side of the family Aunty Maude came from, or learn why Thomas Henry Jones was called Uncle Dick, maybe now is a good time to try and get the answers.

Have you ever looked at the back of an old photo and read the caption “Pat and me”, and then wondered who “Pat” and “me” were.

Well get the old photos out and try to find out who “me” was.

VEGIE GARDEN
Maybe it is a good time to turn over the vegie garden and plant a few winter vegies. Perhaps see if Bunnings will home deliver a few seedlings. I bet the rhubarb needs breaking into a few clumps.

Maybe send the editor some words on garden activities for the winter – for publication.

PHOTOBOOKS

Let’s be honest now. Who has all of their photos organised in photo albums and/or photobooks? I said – be honest.
Do you want to create your first photobook, or your 21^st? Maybe now is the time.

Do you want a tutorial on “how to create a photobook” in this publication?

ACTIVITIES – Bee House

Shirley now has her bee house. A bee house is apparently an artificial nesting structure that mason bees, and other solitary bees, can use to lay their eggs.