INTRO
This issue is coming to you from home, as we have returned from our sojourn to Gippsland and the Victorian High Country. Seven nights in Lakes Entrance, three in Omeo and two in Bright were a great tonic for the COVID weariness.
All of the areas that we visited have suffered greatly – from both fire and COVID. Most business are emerging slowly – some a bit quicker than others. Confidence is lacking – doubt reigns supreme.
Fear is present – as another fire season approaches. Long grass is virtually everywhere, thanks again to Mother Nature.
Editor
Route Map
The following image shows the route for our trip. The basic route was around 870 km, but our side trips (from Lakes Entrance & Omeo) extended that to around 1450 km.
Amanda And Her Garlic
You have heard about Amanda, and her garlic. As she has picked some of her crop and been taught how to braid the same, we thought that it was time that you saw a photo of both.
I am not allowed to divulge the location of the crop.
Dean Martin, Ken Lane & Foster Brooks - The Bar/Airline Pilot
An oldie, but a goodie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XC3Hc-rAkk
What A Wonderful World, With David Attenborough
Just some amazing images here……………..
https://www.youtube.com/embed/auSo1MyWf8g?rel=0
THE NEWCASTLE SONG – BY BOB HUDSON
This video was suggested by a reader who has contributed to the COVID period by have a “joke of the day – every day” on Facebook. The Newcastle Song had a cult following in the mid 70’s. it has a fair bit of politically incorrect terminology, so feel free to bypass this item. However, if you want to revisit a clever and humorous Aussie song, please enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yXinPYK-Jk
TOM RUSH: THE REMEMBER SONG
I can’t remember if we have had this song before, but it worth playing again. I am sure that it provide a smile.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yN-6PbqAPM
THERE ARE ONLY NINE QUESTIONS.
This is a quiz for people who know everything. They are straight questions with straight answers...
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.
Answers somewhere below……
A FEW QUOTABLE QUOTES
“He had delusions of adequacy”.
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music”.
“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here”.
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator”.
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go”.
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it”.
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I’ll waste no time reading it”.
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends”.
LOGIC FROM AN UNCLUTTERED MIND
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
COVID IN CAIRO
During the current pandemic, the people in CAIRO, Egypt's capital city and home to over 20 million people, have been traumatised by the silence in their streets since the imposing of home lock-down. Usually their streets throb with a cacophony of noise, chaotic traffic and bustle.
Some people there are becoming physically ill or psychologically disturbed as a result of the silence so in an attempt to resolve the problem, the Egyptian Government has asked everyone to go out every night between 6 pm and 7 pm and to drive round in their cars, blasting their horns as loudly as possible.
It is hoped that these familiar sounds will induce a return to tranquility of the minds and bodies of Cairo folk.
This project is to be known as:
"The TOOT n CALM EM" method!
IMPORTANT INFORMATION
⦁ If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
⦁ The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
⦁ A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy)
⦁ Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)
⦁ The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
⦁ The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
⦁ The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
⦁ Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
⦁ Butterflies taste with their feet.
⦁ The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
⦁ Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
⦁ A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
⦁ An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
⦁ Starfish have no brains.
⦁ Polar bears are left-handed.
ImageHumans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
ANSWERS TO QUIZ:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls ... The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.
Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
Short Jokes
There may be a couple of repeats here….
⦁ Education is important but opening the pubs is importanter.
⦁ News flash! Sticking your tongue on an outdoor bug zapper lamp will cure you of the virus. Yes, I read it on the Internet.
⦁ If you want to save money at Christmas, now’s the perfect time to tell the kids that Santa didn’t make it through the pandemic.
⦁ Maths class 2020: if Jenny is a hairdresser and wants to marry Jimmy the personal trainer in an open air food court, how many people can attend the ceremony?
⦁ Between two evils. I always pick the one I’ve never tried.
⦁ Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. Whatever works.
⦁ Never make a woman mad. They can remember
⦁ When you are dead you don’t know that you are dead. It is difficult only for others. It is the same when you are stupid.
⦁ Question: What do you call a hen who can count her own eggs?
Answer: A mathemachicken.
⦁ You haven't experienced true heartbreak until you've been thinking about leftovers all day and then come home to find that someone ate them.
⦁ Dear algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your X.
She's never coming back and don't ask Y.
⦁ I'm reading a book on anti-gravity … I can't put it down!
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
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