Christmas
has been and gone. I hope that Santa fulfilled your dreams.
MUSIC - STAIRWAY
TO HEAVEN
Two great versions of a great song,
the first by Heart, and the second by Led Zeppelin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swq_X9VQ744
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkF3oxziUI4
The Beatles - Here
Comes The Sun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQetemT1sWc&list=RDCLAK5uy_mfut9V_o1n9nVG_m5yZ3ztCif29AHUffI&index=8
Toto - Africa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTQbiNvZqaY&list=RDCLAK5uy_mfut9V_o1n9nVG_m5yZ3ztCif29AHUffI&index=9
ONE LINERS FROM PHYLLIS DILLER
Not sure if we have had these before, but they are worth a second
run. 😊
·
As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
·
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
·
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up
is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
·
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of
them would never wear the same outfit in public.
·
Best way to get rid of kitchen odours: Eat out.
·
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
·
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't
afford. Then I want to move in with them.
·
Most children threaten at times to run away from
home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
·
Any time three New Yorkers Get into a cab without an
argument, a bank has just been robbed.
·
We spend the
first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and
the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
A REVIEW OF 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLxqH6Rq0Lw
MORE ONE LINERS FROM PHYLLIS DILLER
·
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
·
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is
looking for a job the next day.
·
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally
got gin in the steam iron.
·
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
·
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
·
MORE ONE LINERS FROM PHYLLIS DILLER
·
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the
bottle - keep away from children.
·
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady,
three hours ago it was grass.'
·
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down
is so you can't see him laughing.
·
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood
type.
POINTS TO PONDER
Why do peanuts float in a regular coke and sink in a
diet coke. Go ahead and try it.....
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned
that most people die of natural causes.
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two pennerth
in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that
extra penny going? (taxes)
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for eternity?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a
baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a
deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change???
They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and
"panties" plural?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his
head out of the window?
HOW DID THE MAN WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS?
JINGLE
BELLS PLUS!!
These 'surprise' performances are becoming more
commonplace, but I'd love to be around when one took place. I wouldn't have minded
missing my train for this happy, toe tapping, presentation - US Air Force style:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/
khQN5ylb3H0?rel=0
GOD Fearing Boys
They are always getting into trouble and their
parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably
involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been
successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her
boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
The mother sent the 5 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the
preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice,
sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is,
son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed
with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an
even sterner tone, "Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to
answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face
and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD?!" The boy screamed & bolted
from the room, ran directly home & dived into his wardrobe, slamming the
door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the wardrobe, he asked, "What
happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath,
replied, "We are in BIG BIG trouble this time!"
"GOD is missing, and they think WE did
it!"
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
