EDITORIAL
Christmas is just over ten weeks away and I pray that we are all able to be with loved ones at that time. Let’s help our great country and city to move to a new way of living that keeps us safe and be able to live some sort of normal life.
Our Premier is just a few days from either making us
slightly happier, or the opposite. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.
More on his words next week. In the meantime enjoy the first visual image below and read on......................................
RETIREMENT – Update from last issue!
I posed the following question and answer.
Question: Why do retirees count their pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
A reader suggests that the answer should be:
Retirees are still able to count.
MUSIC
We will start with Julie Andrews at her best:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeame6UtUn8
Then we move to something quite different:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAfqCq3JIWg
Yet a different approach – very Aussie - I am Australian:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGjkaoP69LM
We are overdue for a bit of Irish, so enjoy Finbar Furey & Sharon Shannon - "He’ll Have To Go":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFdZyAG4Css
It took a lot of will-power to not include “When you were sweet sixteen” by the Fureys.
The Bizarre Behaviour of Rotating Bodies
The following video is partly for people who are intrigued by interesting phenomena, and partly for people who are a fan of mathematics.
It is a long video but most of the stuff for the layman is in the first three minutes.
If you have ever played tennis please watch the first three minutes (at least).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VPfZ_XzisU
AGING DRAWING
The following video is very clever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycLIyI_fB9k
NO SENIOR DISCOUNT?
Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don't really care anymore. If walking is good for your health, the mailman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs, hops, & only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run, does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the toilet.
13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They're everywhere.
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
20. Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you!?
MICHAEL O’FLAHETY
This is the sad story of Irishman Michael O’Flahety. He was the victim of modern day depression that can haunt a man. Michael was so sick and tired of the world of COVID, of Chinese aggression, of global warming and the rest of the stories our media deem important.
Michael drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all of the windows, selected his favourite radio station and started the car.
Four days later a worried neighbour peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the police and ambulance and they broke in and pulled Michael from the car.
A little sip of water and surprisingly he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a flat battery.
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE?
Please watch the whole video. Do not pre-judge. Do not pick sides until you have hear the complete story. Is there a lesson to be learned?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lyex2tSUyA
HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVE – A GOLF STORY
Whether you are a golfer, or a lover of green grass, or like an intersting front yard, you may find this interesting – or over the top.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/fxpuheECxZI
DRONE FLYING OVER THE FINNISH FJORDS
Some gorgeous views of Mother Earth in this video, captured best using modern technology. Some shots of a place we shall never see in the flesh. Amazing quality, makes it very hard to concentrate on everything with so much to see. It is best in full screen. Warning for those with acrophobia or vertigo!
https://www.youtube.com/embed/PqyPW-Bdd4E?rel=0
SHORT JOKES
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
I dialled a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes."
~~~~~
My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time, to think of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.
************ ***
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."
****** *********
Nominated as the best short joke this year..
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.
SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY: Governmentium
A new Element has been added the Periodic Table.
Melbourne University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to from, but 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks; but twice as many morons.
PUT DOWN YOUR COFFEE
Please click on the following to see a short video:
GET THE MESSAGE RIGHT................
The following video is a demonstration of what comes out of your mouth may not be what the other person hears...................
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine. If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from you?
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
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