EDITORIAL – You Gotta Smile
While repairing Shirley’s sewing machine, I removed the broken light globe. A Google search for a replacement returned with "Woolworths".
We were amused that they come in a pack of two – as the first globe lasted 48 years. Anyone need a sewing machine globe?
MUSIC
Celtic Heart - "Kid ar an Sliabh" - featuring Harp Twins & Máiréad Nesbitt
This is a bit different. I hope you enjoy it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEMR16gOXLM
Now a couple of songs from the distant past, selected because their titles seem appropriate at the moment……
BILLY THORPE – SICK & TIRED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xeqbzkWl80
DORIS DAY - WHATEVER WILL BE WILL BE - (QUE SERA SERA)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FKA-3uRdQY
POLITICIANS: IT SAYS IT ALL REALLY.
A politician visited a village and asked the villagers what their needs were.
“We have two basic needs, honourable Sir”, replied the village leader.
“Firstly, we have a hospital but no doctor”.
On hearing this, the politician brought out his phone.
After speaking for a while, he told them that there’d be a doctor there tomorrow and asked for the second problem.
“Secondly Sir, there is no mobile phone coverage anywhere in this village”.
TOKYO OLYMPICS FIREWORKS SHOW?
A simulated video of fireworks with a background music is being circulated on social media with claims that it shows a display of fireworks in Japan which was supposed to be part of the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games to be held this year.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfJiobQlm1o
BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM "PIPER"
The is a message in this lovely video. "Piper" has won the Oscar for the best animated movie. It only lasts 3 minutes, but it took the director 3 years to make it. See how life can change when our perception changes. Enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryx1CKskau8
HOW GRANDCHILDREN PERCEIVE THEIR GRANDPARENTS
I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as I'd done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....
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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 72. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
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ImageAfter putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I really think you should try to figure out some of these colours yourself!"
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RETIREMENT - Your Life’s Vocation!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.
Question How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count their pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer NUTS!
ImageQuestion: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic, or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to – (A) move in, OR (B) store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: NORMAL.
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never-ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school [U3A] as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss his ex-colleagues but misses the work?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth, when asked by his former employer..
EVERYBODY’S FAVOURITE . . .
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday and Sunday, I rest.
THE SOUTHERN CROSS
The following link plays a YouTube video of Crosby, Stills and Nash singing The Southern Cross. It is a song about sailing from California south and the first time they see the Southern Cross. A great track and lyrics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw9gLjEGJrw
Crosby, Stills & Nash (Live) - Teach Your Children
The following is another great song with a message. Enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vnYKRacKQc
THE HUMMINGBIRD
There is no other bird quite like a hummingbird -- amazing brain structures, how they control all their movements & remember things. If you have a good monitor, you’ll appreciate the photographic quality. It is excellent.
//www.youtube.com/embed/FPRswRWZ23Q
BOB & MARION
Bob & Marion were a God fearing couple who got married young, and stayed married. Throughout their relationship, they enjoyed a healthy sex-life, of which they were proud. As they reached their twilight years, the couple made a deal; if it were at all possible, whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is an after-life, and if there is, if you could still have sex after death. Their biggest fear of course, was that there might be no after-life at all.
After a long life together, and following the statistical average, Bob was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact: " Marion .... Marion ... "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night.
I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again".
"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"
"No - I'm a rabbit somewhere near Mildura."
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine.
If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from you?
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
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