EDITORIAL
I have a new skill to be listed on my CV, as a sewing machine mechanic. In the photo below the yellow arrow shows the plate that I removed with my short fat fingers. The blue arrow points to a narrow gap that contained half of a broken needle.
Problem solved – happy wife.
For the record, the above photo is actually larger
than the actual item photographed.
MUSIC
We have some rock and some classical music for your thought and enjoyment.
Susan Boyle's First Audition Britain's Got Talent - I Dreamed a Dream
This track provides an important message and some great vocals……………..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE1Lxw5ZyXk
At the above audition Susan Boyle expressed a desire to be as good as Elaine Paige.
Now click on the link below to hear Elaine Paige in the stage version of EVITA in 1978.
Don't Cry For Me Argentina - Elaine Paige
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxR-1mZem8Q
Some recent alternative words for the song are quite appropriate:
Don't cry for me, Quarantina
The doctors will cure this virus
All through these wild days, its mad existence
We're at home always, we'll keep our distance
The following is an excellent version of the same song by Madonna from the movie Evita ……..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KD_1Z8iUDho
House of the Rising Sun
Who is old enough to remember the great version of the above song by Eric Burdon and the Animals – one of my all-time favourite songs?
Click on the link below to hear a 1964 version, when I was in form 4 at school. That was the year that Collingwood lost another Grand Final – to Melbourne – 8.16 to 8.12.
That game included legendary players with names like Ron Barassi, Des Tuddenham, Hassa Mann & Ray Gabelich. The coaches were Norm Smith & Bob Rose.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO7DiYjgfRs
This is a contrasting version by a couple of guys who featured in an issue a few weeks ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQteKZ1PaBo
THE NOTE
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me."
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
"She's finally gone. Yeah I know, it is about time. I'm coming to see you. Put on that sexy French nightie. I love you. Can't wait to see you. We'll do all the naughty things you like." He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes. She grabbed the note to see what he wrote....
"I can see your feet. We're out of bread; be back in five minutes."
REAL OLD CARS
There's real OLD cars, and there's REAL old cars. These are the latter. Fun to watch. Click below:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/AsKjPwRaA5Q
Sound up and you may be able to feel the power.......
COVID VICTORIA
The following is a light-hearted view of a COVID Victoria, Inspired by Laura Branigan's Gloria. I am not sure if you need Facebook loaded, so apologies if it does not work.
https://www.facebook.com/243435976053175/posts/1091641111232653/?extid=tFdsHNJYuUcVRFT4
BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY
This COVID version is worth a smile…………
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eo9M4-BrJA
SHORT STORIES
Did you know on Canary Island there is not one Canary? And in the Virgin Islands, the same thing, not one Canary there either.
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If you receive an email about canned meat, don't open it, it's Spam.
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I bought my husband a Pug. Despite the rolls of fat, the wrinkles, the bulging eyes and plain being ugly, the Pug seems to like him.
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
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If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving.
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Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom.
After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.
Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die first?"
He replied, "Probably the same thing."
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"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian." - Dennis Wholey
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Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
"I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.
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Drove past a drug rehabilitation centre this morning & there was a sign on the lawn saying “Keep off the grass”
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Did You Know?
Counterintuitively, people who live near coal-driven power plants have a higher level of radiation exposure than those living near nuclear-powered plants; coal ash contains uranium and the radioactive by-products of coal combustion are more poorly controlled and regulated than the by-products in the nuclear industry.
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine.
If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly one who is a good listener.
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from you?
Please stay well and as happy as can be. The bear is after a cuddle.
