The Easter Bunny has done his bit, or to be politically
correct their bit. Autumn leaves are in the process of changing colour
and falling. Depending on your aims on life this is either a pain or an
opportunity to make some compost – ready for spring efforts in the garden.
Daylight saving time has finished so the cows will be
more content and the curtains will fade less. 😊
Maybe plans are being drawn up for winter – be that travel or football
– maybe some of both.
Please enjoy the fourth last Silly.
MUSIC
JOHN WILLIAMSON & WARREN H WILLIAMS
- RAINING ON THE ROCK
We have had this track before, but I
love it, and it is very Australian.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4mTKcJfnnE
SARA STORER - RAINING ON THE PLAINS
(featuring JOHN WILLIAMSON)
Sara Storer is a popular Aussie
artist. Enjoy….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFVOLbruUOM
FOR ELVIS FANS -
Elvis Presley died
in 1977, and his daughter Lisa Marie was born in 1966. Lisa Marie was 11 years
old when her father died.
With today's
technology, they brought the father and daughter together to sing this song
together !
It's hard
to see and realise that this video is actually an amazing edit! The
reactions from the crowd when Lisa Marie appeared were very well done.
The meeting
"electronically" between father and daughter became beautiful....
Elvis sang this song in 1968 and Lisa Marie in 2008...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KK6sMo8NBY
PROVERBS
"If the rich could hire other people to
die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living."
- Yiddish Proverb
"The wise man, even when he holds his tongue, says more than the fool when he speaks."
- Yiddish Proverb
"Ask about your neighbours, then buy the
house."
- Yiddish
proverb
"What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent
with your mouth." - Yiddish proverb
"A hero is someone who can keep his mouth shut when
he is right." - Yiddish Proverb
"One old friend is better than two new ones."
- Yiddish Proverb
"One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who
wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest
grandchild in the world." -Jewish Proverb
"Old friends, like old wines, don't lose their flavour."
-Jewish Proverb
"A wise man hears one word and understands
two." -Yiddish Proverb
"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."
- Golda Meir
(1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat
"Pessimism is a luxury that a Jew can never allow
himself." - Golda Meir
When his wife asked him to change clothes to meet the German
Ambassador: "If they want to see me, here I am. If they want to see
my clothes, open my closet and show them my suits."
- Albert
Einstein
"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent
them." - Albert Einstein
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is
income tax." - Albert Einstein
"I don't want to become immortal through my work. I
want to become immortal through not dying. - Woody Allen
"I'm not afraid of dying - I just don't want to be
there when it happens!" - Woody Allen
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
(Sign hanging
in Einstein's office at Princeton)
"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not
everything that can be counted counts."
- Albert
Einstein
"Education is what remains after
one has forgotten everything he learned in school."
- Albert Einstein
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human
stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
- Albert
Einstein
COVID POEMS
The
following link shows an article in the Journal of the American Medical
Association (JAMA) in which the two authors, one an MD and also a poet, have
selected three poems for the COVID-19 pandemic.
They
are probably of greater relevance to people living in the northern hemisphere
who are facing the tremendous loss of loved ones but the messages in each poem,
and an additional one contributed by a correspondent, have relevance to all of
us at various times in our lives.
You
can either read the poems or click on appropriate links within the article and
listen to the poems. There are some good words within…..
GOLFERS
The following video provides frustrated golfers with
something to aim for ………….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9sjU-akvvw
SEE
YOU IN COURT
A
farmer named Jimmy had a car accident, he was hit by a truck owned by the
Fosters brewery. In court, the Fosters’ hot-shot solicitor was
questioning him.
'Didn't
you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the
solicitor. Jimmy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd
just loaded my cow into the... '
'I
didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the
question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Jimmy
said, 'Well, I'd just got the cow into the trailer and I was drivin' down the
road.... '
The
solicitor interrupted again and said 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the
fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene
that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to
sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply
answer the question. '
By
this time, the Judge had become fairly interested in Jimmy's answer and said to
the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his cow'.
Jimmy
thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded the
cow into the trailer to take her to the Ekka in Brissie and was drivin' her
down the road when this huge Foster’s truck and trailer came thundering through
a stop sign and hit me trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one
ditch and the cow was thrown into the ditch on the other side of the
road.
By jove
I was hurt, very bad, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear my
cow moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly
after the accident, a cop on a motorbike turned up. He could hear my cow
moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her,
and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between the
eyes. Then the cop came across the road, gun still in hand and smoking,
looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
'Now what the
hell would you say?'
SOMETHING TO PONDER
·
Is the “S” or “C” in scent silent?
·
Why does Fridge have a “D” in it, but refrigerator
does not?
·
Why are Zoey and Zoe pronounced the same but Joey
and Joe are not?
·
You can drink a drink, but you can’t food a food.
·
Why is a “w” called a “Double-U” when it is clearly
a “Double-V”?
·
The word “queue” is just a Q followed by four
silent letters.
·
What happens if you get scared half to death –
twice?
·
I want to grow my own food. Can you buy bacon
seeds?
·
Could I turn myself into a Hokey Pokey clinic and turn myself around?
THE
CENTIPEDE
A single guy
decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So, he went to the pet store
and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some
discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came
in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the
box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by
taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked
the centipede in the box,
"Would
you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was
no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few
minutes and then asked again,
"How
about going to church with me and receive blessings?"
But again,
there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So, he waited a few minutes
more, thinking about the situation.
The guy
decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted,
"Hey,
in there!
Would
you like to go to Church
with me and learn about God?"
YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS
This
time, a little voice came
out of the box,
"I heard you the first time!
I'm putting my shoes on.
THE IRISH 000 EMERGENCY CALL
An Irish woman was cleaning her husband’s rifle and accidentally
shoots him. She immediately dials 000 Emergency.
Irish woman: “It’s my bloody husband! I’ve accidentally shot him.
I think I’ve killed him!”
Operator: “Please calm down Mam. Can you first make sure that he
is actually dead!”
Irish woman: “OKAY, I’ve done dat. What’s next?”
DAMPER
I won’t ruin the story by telling you my corny damper recipe joke.
However, those of you who really know me, know that scones and damper are an
essential part of any caravan trip.
I just loved the following video, because it is so “Aussie”.
Enjoy.
THE
TEN BEST CADDY RESPONSES
Number:10
Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the
lake.”
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that
long?"
Number: 9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on
this course.”
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the
earth.”
Number: 8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: "Yes . . . You miss the ball much closer now.”
Number: 7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy:
"Eventually.”
Number: 6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the
world.”
Caddy: "I don't think so . . .That would be too much
of a coincidence.”
Number: 5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time.
It's too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass.”
Number: 4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?”
Caddy: "It's very good - personally, I prefer golf.”
Number: 3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day.”
Number: 2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played
on.”
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an
hour ago.”
And the Number: 1 . . . . Best Caddy Comment:
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old.”
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.”
PLEASE REMEMBER
That laughter is the best medicine.
If you cannot laugh try to phone a friend, particularly
one who is a good listener. 😊
Is there anyone who would love to get a phone call from
you?
Please stay well and as happy as can be.
The bear is after a cuddle. 😊
*** End of Issue No 67 ***
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